Stand Out

 When was the last time you really stood out in a crowd? Are you comfortable in that position, or do you wish you could fade into the woodwork?

Stand out in a crowd…I don’t think so.  I do all I can do to fade into the woodwork. Maybe my fear of standing out in a crowd occurred when I was a teenager. I was probably 13-14 years old when I was nominated to compete for Queen of the county livestock show.  Why they chose me I will never know.  Way back then I was tall , thin and very awkward. From what I can remember one of the events I had to participate in was a style show in the local mall.  The outfit I was to model was not a new store purchased one but one that I made.  I never was an accomplished seamstress so as you can guess I was never felt pretty in the things that I created.  I am sure that in my small thirteen year old mind that I looked horrible when in reality I did not look as bad as I thought.  Another event was the talent contest. In my mind everyone else’s talent seemed better than mine. Most of the talent consisted of singing, gymnastics  and twirling batons…but what was my talent – playing the clarinet.  The worst sound in the world is a clarinet that squeaks.  I remember trying so hard not to make that horrible sound. But, you know how it goes.  The longer you try not to do something you go and do it anyway. Yes, I made a loud horrible squeak and just wanted to be swallowed up by the stage.  Like most things the world did not end.  I still had people who loved me and encouraged me on other things that I attempted.

Do I think that this fear has hurt me?  No, I do not want to stand out in a crowd.  I do not want people looking at me all the time, wondering about me, talking about me. I’m glad I am just me quietly going about my life. Hopefully, making the world a somewhat better place.