I think that Marc Driscoll makes very good and true points in his answer to this question. The laughter in the audience and between the pastors by inference communicated to me that if a “Christian” does date and maybe even marry a non-Christian that they are not really a Christian. That they are foolish and somehow inferior in their Christian life and have truly made a mess of things.
I would answer the question with out reference to a “lawnmower” but with tears in my eyes so that others can see the importance of choosing who to date. This is a sensitive topic for me because I am a Christian married to a non-Christian. I was a Christian before I met my husband and I have wrestled with whether I have committed and maybe even still committing sin by being in this relationship.
My husband and I have been married for 27 years. Could it be said that I loved him more than Christ when I committed myself to him in marriage? Many will say yes.
So here is a little background. I grew up in a Christian family. My grandfather was a elder in the church. My mother was a bible school teacher and my dad was a deacon. We attended church every time the door was open. I was baptized when I was 12 years old. I used to pray that I would marry a preacher or someone with the same beliefs. Deep down I think in my childish mind I thought that then they would help me be a good Christian – make it easier to do the things that God wanted me to do. As a teenager I was very active in the youth program. I was even active in a bible group during my college years, too. I am still active in a local church.
I don’t know what happens to you when you fall “in love”. It is like all reason goes out of your head. It is good advice not to let the relationship get to involved. Many people warned me of all the “dangers” of dating a non-Christian – of being unequally yoked with a nonbeliever. It was too late. I was “in love.” My ears were closed and besides I thought at this time that I could conquer the world and young love can conquer all the problems of the world. We were married. My parents and his parents were not happy but accepted us. It is true the statements the pastors made about not having the same source to look for answers. My husband does not always understand my reasoning behind my answers. But I have found that over the years he has come to respect most of them. Marriage is hard for Christians. It is hard period. Just look at the divorce rate in Christian and non-Christian families.
I used to think I did commit sin by marrying my husband. I had a lot of guilt and shame thinking that when I married my husband that I somehow denied Christ as my first love. But I no longer think that. Several years ago it dawned on me that I was not giving God any credit. I do not know how my choices and God’s sovereignty work. I think that God is sovereign and that I also have responsibility. I was thinking about my childish prayer. I used to think that God answered my prayer for a godly man as “no” or even that my choice over ruled any of God’s part. I thought that I just had stick with my choice. I began to really think about this and it dawned on me that maybe my husband is the one God wanted me to marry. What if God wanted me to trust him and lean on him alone and not a godly husband? That was like an eye opener. That changed my whole way of looking at this relationship. My guilt and shame about my marriage was no longer on my mind. The truth of the matter is I am a sinner and will be a sinner till the day I experience physical death. I am to live my life the best I can in the situation that God has placed me. I believe that God has placed me in this relationship so I can learn to trust God in all things and to be a servant to someone who does not understand Christ. I pray every day that God will work in my husbands life and change his heart. And I believe that God is faithful and by my leaning on Christ that God will sustain me and this relationship. Anything can happen because God is a forgiving, loving, and merciful to His children.
Reflections 