Day 3 – What is holding me back? Why have I not done these things? What is stopping me?
These are very good questions. I’m to answer the questions with regard to the physical things, emotional things and the reason for the disconnect….between words and action.
I think it is hard for me to have work/leisure balance because the nature of my profession has these very heavy deadlines. The first deadline starts around February 15 through April 15 with the next heavy deadline between August 15 – October 15. During these time periods the only thing I focus on is getting tax returns out…..
The fact of the matter is I need to work. Most people do need to work to pay bills and save for retirement. I could change jobs. However, if I did change jobs in the same profession I do not think I would get away from these deadlines. The answer could be to do something entirely different. Now to me that is scary….I have been doing tax returns for about 30 years.and in reality I like some of the clients I work on and during the slow time I enjoy this type of work. During these busy times, chores at home pile up causing stress. Because I am trying to get more done in a day, I shortchange sleep. I stay up later and still get up early. After time I am so tired that all I want to do is watch TV and lay around. Also, because of lack of time, my eating habits are poor….
Money worries….I do have some debt that I could pay off. I do tax returns for other people and get their books in order. You would think that I could do it for myself….Well, that answer is no. The last thing I want to do at the end of the day is look at more paperwork..I think most of my worry is because of the future and not having enough saved up. Sometimes, I think I put it off because I do not want to discover I will have to work until I am over 100 years old to be able to retire.
Organization…I have this big problem. I see books or articles that I want to read and I set them out so I can remember I want to read them. I thought that if I tore out articles or recipes from magazines that I would make those recipes. I have a hard time putting them away because I do not want to forget about them….the truth of the matter…I have so many that I would not ever have time to make the recipes or read all the books that I want to read. I must secretly think it is some sort of character flaw to say I am going to read such and such book or make such and such recipe and then never do it. Again this can also impact my worry about money. I spend money on projects that are never finished….
Time….I know that there are only 24 hours in a day. How come the day rushes by and the things I want to do are not accomplished. I will admit that I am not a big fan of lists. The reason being is that my lists become so long that it is impossible to ever complete the list. I have argued with myself that if I had a list that then I could put things away and not have to leave them out to remember them. But I also know that if I can not cross something off my list I become angry….and I will potentially take it out on others. Such a catch twenty two…
I have considered that if I have less possessions (and desired less things) that then I would have less to organize and less things to take care of that then I would have more time….could this be the answer…Less things – more money – more time!!!
Reflections 