Reflections

This quote is from a post about wisdom and how sin reduces us all to fools.

Here are the four aspects of foolishness.

1. Foolishness of self-centeredness
2. Foolishness of self-deception
3. Foolishness of self-sufficiency
4. Foolishness of self-righteousness

Under foolishness of self-centeredness, Paul Tripp writes “Often our living has no greater purpose than self-satisfaction and self-fulfillment. Does this sound harsh? Well, ask yourself, “Why do I ever get impatient with others?” “Why do I ever say things I shouldn’t say?” “Why do I get discouraged with my circumstances?” “Why do I give way to anger or give in to self-pity?” The answer is that, like me, you want your own way, and when things don’t go your way or people are in your way, you lash out in anger or you turn inward in discouragement.

Am I being foolish?  Am I being self-centered?  It is hard to thing that my life has not greater purpose than self-satisfaction and self-fulfillment.  Lately, I have asked myself the questions listed above – “Why am I impatient with my family”; “why do I say things I shouldn’t say?” – why, why, why.

My 23 year-old son will be leaving on January 3 to go into the army.  He is excited about this choice that he has made and I truly want to be happy for him.  But, my heart is full of fear.  I find myself saying things that I wish I could take back.

Last night my son purchased a new car – a sports car.  My husband co-signed for the loan.  I am not too happy about this because I was not consulted.  My husband then put the car on our insurance policy.  Having two drivers under the age of 25 on a car insurance policy is very expensive.  Again, I was not consulted. Anyway, my son is has been out on his own for over a year.  He wants to be independent from us. He does not want us to know about his financial affairs and I think it is about time that he is responsible for his own car insurance.  Right now he reimburses us for the car insurance but he is not very reliable about making the payment when I need it to pay the bill. I think we should support his desire to be independent from us and put his car on his own insurance policy.  Anger builds.  My son is happy about his new car.  He would like me to express happiness for him.  It is hard.  I say the wrong things.  Most likely because I am angry because nobody is consulting me and thinking that what I think is important.  I wish the words could be taken back.  Too late.

I am making everyone miserable because I have not been consulted.  Is it truly that important? Am I being self-centered – thinking more highly of the way I would do things?  Has sin – my self-centeredness turned me into a fool?