Warning – the following might be depressing. I thought long and hard about posting this but decided that I would feel better if I did.
The Christmas tree has been dismantled. The decorations are back in their boxes and in the attic. For me I am glad Christmas is over. My expectations just must have been too high this year. I do not know why I think that Christmas should be full of happy family and good food. I think that tonight’s sermon from our youth minister put it somewhat in perspective for me.
He spoke about how he hates the Christmas season because it brings about such enormous feelings of selfishness. Christmas is a time of buying and making lists and deciding what you might like to get from Santa. Who cares about the giving it is the getting that is so much fun. And anyway, my kids are now old enough that the gifts they want are expensive which somehow takes out the pleasure of gift giving for me. Can I say selfish any louder? I can totally relate to this malady of being overtaken by selfishness. I really do not want people to know how selfish I really am – I am suppose to be a Christian.
This year I received a chiminea. A huge one that was on my list. I also received a pandora bracelet – with a few of the charms. I really wanted one of those too. So why the disappointment. Our youth minister pointed out that he would receive nice gifts too. But then he would become obsessed with the one he did not get. I have become obsessed with the one I did not get. My dear husband took me to the phone store twice to look at phones. He tried to talk me into one of those Android phones but I have always wanted an Iphone. I told him that I really wanted an Iphone. I was sure that I was going to get one of those. Anyway, I was disappointed that one was not under the tree. How selfish can I get? The pandora bracelet was not cheap either! SELFISH! SELFISH!
Another reason our youth minister hates Christmas is family. Someone always starts and argument and someone always ends up crying. This year I have also struggled with all the pictures of family enjoying the festive holiday season – full of laughter and fun.
The weekend before Christmas was hectic with my niece graduating from college and then the trip to Corpus to visit my folks.
The trip to Nacadoghes was made in one day. We woke up at 4:3o am to get on the road by 5:00 am. The timing was good to get the graduation in time to get good seats. The problem came when we decided to find a place to eat lunch. We were not seated in the restaurant until 3:00pm. I have come to the conclusion that adults can turn into mean and nasty adults when they have eaten a small biscuit very early in the morning and lunch is not served until after 3:00pm. (As you can probably guess fasting is not a disciple that we participate in very much.)
My son is going into the Army come January 3 and we thought it would be good time for a visit especially since it has been about three years since he has made the trek to visit with his grandparents. I do not think a visit could be so filled with expectation of a loving family fall so short. The kids were more interested in their computers and phones than in visiting. My mother wanted to visit the cemeteries. That was a disaster. The kids acted so bored along with my dear husband. (By the way, my kids are young adults – over the age of 20.)
Christmas Day – what can I say. Both my son and my husband worked on Christmas day. My daughter and I ate at Ihop. I told my daughter that all the people who do not have family to celebrate Christmas with go to Ihop. Then we were off to the movies. The movie we watched was just okay. It did not make a big impression on me because right now I am having a hard time remembering the name. Then I told my daughter that all the lonely people who do not have families also go to the movies for Christmas. Can you tell that I am full of self-pity and selfishness?
Enough of this!!! My husband has the chiminea going and I have been invited to sit outside and enjoy the crisp night air with my husband. I think I will join him and delight in this gift that he gave to me.
Thanks Steve for a great lesson.
Reflections 